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"You heard the man." General Hobble appeared from out the dust and skuttle of battle, hoisted himself upon Pea, and jabbed his leg-leg into Pea's side as a giddy up. Pea did not react, but turned to Mavis questioningly.

"Go!" The copper knight pointed. "We haven't any time!"

"You heard the captain, boy!" He hit Pea twice more with his peg. "Now hurry up and hop to it!"

Pea shook his head, and in fury both at the enemy and at the man on his back, rolled back into the battle, leaping in the air and smashing the enemies underneath.

"Not so hard!" The General smacked Pea in the back with his fist. "You don't have to kill them, you know! You could just break their legs!" 

A campfire smashed, then another, and then another, but as the bands of monsters rolled away towards the hill, seemingly in retreat, a figure rose out from the red silk yurt, not bothering to use it's front flaps but busting from out it's roof. The beast was twenty feet tall, with a blue skin and an almond shaped head, and one inflamed eye sat lopsided in his skull. 

He wore no armor, for just like Pea in his current form had skin tougher than iron, but also black claws of ebony on his fingers and toes, and bottom and top incisors like serrated elephant swords. Still, it was clear he cared somewhat about his appearance, as a makeshift pair of briefs sat around his waist, made of kudzu moss and mammoth pelts.

He banged his chest, and it's bay was guttural and bellowing. Then, took his fists and pounded the earth, over and over, shaking it as if it were made of loose cinderblocks, knocking the entirety of Kürbispfalz army to their knees. All, except for one.

"There's their king, Pea-eater!" The General smacked him again. "Now is your chance to attack the king!"

Pea made a face like he was yelling a great battle cry, and began bouncing at top speed toward the enormous blue monster. At first the beast appeared confident as it braced for impact, but the unblinking eye studied the bouncing cannon's trajectory and showed fear in it's raising lids. The monster leaned back, raised his hands to his face, for he had no time to get out the way now.

"Miii!" With all the pent up adrenaline Pea even in his engorged form was able to open his mouth and utter a tiny, high pitched war cry as he leapt in the air with his enormous frame and went to bring it down upon the monster's head.

"GAAAAAAAAH!" Hobble screamed, as he held on to Pea's reigns with one hand, and drove with all his might a poison dagger into with him, with the other hand. 

In an instant and in mid-air, Pea's body shrunk back to it's original puny size, and rather than landing like a mountain atop the monster's head, fell like a sack of potatoes aside him on the ground, his limbs slung painfully under him. The monster reached out and caught Hobble in his hand and held him up to his mouth.

"Monster! Don't you dare!" Mavis was helped onto his feet by soldiers on his left and right after wrapping his foot in a make shift gauze cast. "Put down the general now, or I shall- Erm, I shall-?"

The Monster, rather than smashing the general into his teeth and sucking through til only bones remain, opened his palm and began turning his hand over as if the general were a lady bug upon it, crawling through the black piney forest of hair upon his forearms and up his shoulder where he sat perched, dangling his legs off the side like a bench. 

"What are you doing, General Hobble? You're right next the monster's head, plunge your sword into his ear!"

Hobble said nothing, but stared placidly at the copper knight.

"What is the meaning of this, human?" The monster spoke to the general. "We agreed, you would bring your men here at dawn. Dawn is still hours away!"

"I am sorry, Rytyurk. I tried, but the people had their own ideas. If I tried and dissuade them, they'd have known something was amiss."

"You TRAITOR!" Mavis unsheathed his axe, now so filled with rage he did not feel his hurt ankle at all. "You came a day early not to survey, but to parlay!"

"One must always go with the winner, Mavis. Even you must be able to understand that."

"Hobble, you one eyed, one legged dope! We WERE winning before you betrayed us!"

"Well . . . Sorry. When I saw the size of Rytyurk the other day I just decided, better not take any chances. I mean look at the size of him! Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Muahahaha." The blue monster's belly bounced obscenely as he laughed. 

"Now, Mavis, if you want to take my advice," The general's mouth frowned squeamishly as he raised a hand over his eyes. "Maybe look away from this next part."

The monster grinned and barred all it's teeth, opening the lop sided lids of his eye even wider, and lifted his foot til it was hanging just above the fallen Pea-eater.

"NO!" Mavis ran as fast he could. "Pea! Get up!"

"Huhhh." Pea's arm slowly pulled out from under him, and then pressed against the dirt weakly to help him up. His hand slipped and he fell back down, but rolled on his side and looked at Mavis now. "Captain."

"Pea! Hold on!" Mavis reached his arm out as the monster's foot came down upon Pea. There was a horrible crunch, like the sound of a thousand cockroaches being stepped on all at once. The Monster lifted his foot and appeared amused at the strands of green viscus and gore attached from the ground to his sole. He stuck out an ebony claw and swiped at it, then gave it a sniff. 

"I hate pea soup." He flicked it off his finger nail like snot, and bellowed his awful baying laugh.

"Did you look away?" The General unsheathed his eye and peered back at the copper knight, fallen on his knees in dismay. "Oh, Mavis! I told you to look away!"

"Pea . . . My friend." He fell to the ground and gripped the grass in his hands, trembling with sadness, then rage. He stood up and continued his battle cry towards the monster, who in turn found joy in the little thing's tenacity. 

"Now just hold on, Mavis." The General said, but there was no stopping the sprinting warrior. He held the axe high in the air and as he came close to Rytyurkt the monster it swung a fist down at the knight, who agilely parried his fingers by sticking his axe in between them and ducking down as slid underneath. 

"Ah!" Rytyurk yelled, holding the his split finger fold up to his eye. "A paper cut! It stings, it stings!" 

He folded his hand into a fist and grimaced he slugged down at the knight. Mavis didn't roll out of the way, but held his axe up on it's side so the dull wall of the axe was pointing out like a shield, and as the enormous fist collided with the copper axe it neither bent nor shattered nor reverberated in the hand, but instead held so true that the fist bounced off it and landed back in the monster's eye.

"Ow!" He yelped. "Impossible! It is only bronze!"

"Behold the witch's spell, demon! With it's impervious strength, I shall defeat you!"

Mavis swung his axe down on the monster's foot, lobbing off his middle toe with a single blow. The monster reacted quickly, falling back on his behind, and holding the foot up to his mouth and yowling in pain. He panted, and sweated, unable to focus on anything else.

"Your monster is defeated, Hobble!" Mavis approached the stunned beast, his weapon readied. "Give yourself up now, and perhaps you will be spared a slow execution!"

"Tenacious flea!" Hobble growled in frustration, then reached into his bag and pulled from it a handful of some black bushy root. "Here, Rytyurk! Hurry!" 

He leaned across from the beast's shoulder and hung onto his nose for balance as he reached his hand into the monster's lip and shoved the root like it was chewing tobacco. The monster's eye rolled into his upper lid in ecstasy, swayed back and forth, and then refocused on Mavis.

"Yes, you're feeling much better now, aren't you!" Rytyurk said nothing, turned too feral by whatever anesthetic had just been applied. Seemingly without thought he stood back up on his feet, even amid the gushing bleeding of his toe, and kicked one mighty leg out towards Mavis like a battering ram. He ducked down, his helmet just barely scraping the beast's heel, then jolted forward again and made a spinning slash at the beasts foot. A giant gash appeared, but he reacted not. Instead, he bent over and began pummeling both his fists into the ground at random, throwing hay maker after hay maker, hoping to find his target. 

Mavis was at a loss, the ground was vibrating much from the raining fists. He could no longer stay atop his two feet and was rolled on his side back and forth as if he were on some enormous blanket being tossed and pulled by his friends. There was almost no control over his body, yet he managed to kick and pull at the ground enough to narrowly dodge the blows. 

The monster squinted at the ground, and looked at his fists to check for blood. 

"You didn't get him yet, you fool!" Hobble called out, to which Rytyurk looked at him stupefied. Mavis took the opening and got back up on his feet and came charging for the best.

"There! There!" The general pointed, then grew so annoyed he put both his hands together in one fist and slapped it across the beasts face. He recoiled, rubbed his cheek, and then saw the knight coming at him.

"FOR KURBISFALZ!!!!" Mavis charged like a wild bear and lifted his axe in the air once more, but it was no use. Rytyurk spit at the man, and threw one well aimed fist, finally meeting it's target. It knocked the knight into the ground, and despite the strength of his armor it could not stop him pressing into the dirt. He laid there under the fist, the wind knocked out of him, unable to see until the monster lifted his hand off the ground. 

"Oh god." The general covered his eyes once again. "This could have all been avoided you know! Well . . . Actually no it couldn't."

The monster balled his toes so the tips of his bladed nails were pointed down, then he reached over the knight and raked them across his armor, peeling back the layers of plating like the lid of a tuna can, until Mavis laid there like a turtle that's lost it's shell. His soft pink flesh was exposed, all except his underwear, decorated by red hearts and smiling teddy bear faces. The monster looked upon them, and although he was about to kill the man, looked upon him with a small bit of admiration.

"I like those underpants." He said. "I wish mine were fancy as that. I'll let you live another five minutes if you tell me where you got them."

As the beast lingered with his foot hanging above the hair, the bottom side pointing down at Mavis like a dangling anvil, the contents of it's under layer began to drip down on top of the de-coppered knight. Amongst the smashed mud and men under Rytyurk's foot were the acidic and gooey remains of young Pea. A drop of his blood dethatched from it's home and fell like a single rain drop into Mavis's mouth. He smacked his lips, unaware of what it was he just swallowed.

"Hello?" The monster tapped his wrist. "I don't have all the time."

Suddenly a burst of color came from Mavis's skin like a flashbang made of coloring dye. The beast stumbled back and covered his eye, then lunged forward, smashing Mavis with his foot and finishing the job.

"Finally. It's over." Hobble said. Except it wasn't.

The ground under Rytyurk's foot began to shake, except it wasn't the ground, it was the tiny any beneath him lifting it over his head as if it were a mere fifty pound weight. Then Mavis tossed it to the side and quickly rolled out from under it, stood up, and unsheathed his weapon.

His skin was glowing red, and his body was clearly enlarging and blowing up like a water skin. His face spoke with deadly seriousness, but also focus, as if Mavis were being processed by some other being with no human emotions except for the desire to fight. He grew, and grew, until he was almost half the monster's height. He bent his head down, looking out from under his brow, and flexed his chest with confidence at the beast.

"I don't believe it!" The General shrieked and grabbed at his hair. "He consumed the blood of Peter Pea-Eater, and has taken his powers as a result!"

"Taken his powers?" Rytyurk scratched his head and shuffled his jaw as his brain processed a thought. "Then, I'll combat him by taking your powers!"

"What? No! No you buffoon I don't have any-" Rytyurk gleefully pinched the general from his shoulder and plopped him in his mouth, rolled him around on his spiny cat-like tongue, before swallowing him hole like a vitamin capsule.

"Hmmmm." Rytyurk touched his chest, checking for changes. "I don't feel any more powerful."

"That's because you aren't." Mavis said, his voice deep and magnificent, echoing out into the valleys of their kingdom. His fist came crashing into Rytyurk's, busting his cheek bone and shattering three of his teeth. 

"My face!" He yowled, and then lunged his hands at Mavis's throat. He blocked the attack with a swipe of his hand and spun gracefully on his heel to transfer the monster's body weight into the ground. The monster stumbled forward, unclear as to how Mavis had somehow wound up behind him, but no matter. He turned back around, still ferocious as ever, and like a panther leapt with all his body weight at the giant knight. It was too much for him, even in his powerful transformed state, and was taken to the ground, holding the monster's wrists from plunging into his chest.

"Can't you see? You won't hold out much longer!" Rytyurk pressed further, bending back Mavis's arms as he tried with all his might to push back the beast, until the tips of his claws were at the knight's bare solar plexus.

"You're right, I won't." Mavis groaned. "But can't you see? At all?" Mavis sucked back the phlegm from his nose, hocked it into his mouth and sent the ball of mucus spit flying into the monster's eye, so hard it got lodged until his bottom eye without a single blink. The pain was so excruciating and immediate, his body reacted without thinking, and draw back from Mavis's chest. 

The knight threw his hands off him and landed two more blows into the monster's face. Then he shuffled forward, grabbed at the monster's foot and pulled it until he fell backward, banging his head against the ground.

"AH!" The beast vocalized, and Mavis climbed on top of his chest. With both his hands he reached into the beast's mouth and bent back a bottom incisors until it snapped off like an elephant tusk, turned it on it's sharp side, and drove it into the beast's eye, then beat it in like a nail and hammer, til it was so far in it stuck out the back of his head. 

The beast had nothing left, he neither screamed nor cursed, but let out three rasping breaths of air and collapsed on his side. 

The goblins and ghouls watched in horror and began escaping as best they could in every direction, which only led them to be easily picked off by the chasing soldiers. Mavis became exhausted, fell forward on his arms and in moments began deflating into his traditional size. 

"We did it, sir!" A man came running up to Mavis, whose vision became blurry, and sound became echoing. He slowly lost consciousness, and as he drifted away his mind only vaguely aware of the repeating phrase.

"We won! We won! We won!"

Months later, when the good king Desiordaries VI would return from his battling on the other side of the world, he would find the town better than when he left it. The men were stronger, the women, too, and all of them more willing to help each other and enjoy the pleasures of every day life, as if their time on earth meant more to them now than ever. These things gave the king much joy to see. 

Only one thing stuck out to him as peculiar, and could not possibly figure out the reason. The people of Kürbispfalz no longer seemed interested in growing pumpkins for the Fall harvest celebration, but instead, exclusively grew peas.

Sir Mavis, the copper plated knight of the battle-axe order, unsheathed his girthy weapon and plunged it into the dry dirt, then rested his head upon it. He prayed, as the sky's tangerine sunset was slowly over taken by the night, and held firm the image of victory in his mind. A hand reached out and shook him, seeing that he was losing all track of time.

"My liege?" Pea-eater said. "Please, come look." 

The knight awoke from his perfect Zen silence, and gracefully moved from his knees to his feet, picked his axe from the dirt and cleaned it with a single cleave through the air. 

"It's the people, my liege. They're seeing you off."

From up here on Cemetery Hill, all of Kürbispfalz could be seen in it's entirety, from the northside river to the south side's markets, to the east farming hills and west side's twinkling tavern lights, and just behind it upon the highest sitting hill sat the castle, known as Kürbisburg. Mavis had lived here his entire life, and served as it's sworn protectorate for most. It had never before looked so fragile, or so beautiful to him, in all his life. From here not a sound from the town could be heard, until a small projectile whistled into the sky, launched from the town square, and popped in the air like an over filled liver. Then, a sizzle of orange sparks burned through the sky on invisible fuses made of emerald dust gunpowder.

The copper knight smiled at the edges of his mouth, and his face softened but for a moment. It was well known how difficult and painstaking orange colored fireworks are to craft, especially in the summer time. He bowed his head and uttered a quite word of gratitude for their humbling gift, and promised he would do his best to honor it. Then, he sheathed his copper weapon once more, and finished his trek to the summit of Cemetary Hill. 

At it's rounded egg shaped peak sat a tree, leafless and curving over a single headstone, marked with no words, but the dated year one-hundred and four, beneath the engraving of King Desiordaries III. Pea-eater stood and watched as Mavis heaved the enormous headstone three feet forward, revealing a wooden trap door underneath. Mavis fit his fingers through the door's wooden planks and pulled it open so fast he ripped it off it's flimsy string hinges, and then began to make his way down the rope ladder. He descended into the darkness, but re-emerged a moment later, poking his head just above the groundline.

"Pea-eater." He said. "If you don't wish to come, I will not blame you. I know in your heart, you are not a warrior. I may have begrudged you for that in the past, but now, as we march into battle . . . My heart would not allow you to be drafted."

Peter Pea-eater Pinkelberger stood three foot tall, shaggy brown hair, and always wearing over sized clothes, known especially for his green baggy hat, which was actually made from an old bag. He held that hat in his hands now, biting on it's raggedy ends, and pushing his eye brows up as they could go, then back down as low. 

"But," Mavis put a hand on Pet-eater's over sized leather shoe. "If you do chose to come, on your own volition, I will not take that decision lightly. It will be recognized as a brave act of determination, and you shall be regarded as it's enactor."

"You mean?" Pea took the hat out of his mouth, followed by a trail of dribble.

"That's right. I will see to it myself that you enter into the page academy."

"The last time I was invited to the academy, it was only a joke. Everyone was laughing. I couldn't take that kind of humiliation a second time."

  "I know, Pea. That was wrong. This time, it will be official, and under my direct tutelage."

Pea's eyes shifted in thought, and then focused on Mavis. "May I come, then?"

"You needn't ask if you may, Pea-eater." Mavis took out his hand to help his friend onto the ladder. "You know I want you to with me, very much."

The two descended into the darkness beneath the earth, the sound of the wind and rustling leaves replaced with the dull hum of the underground, it's humid warmth coating their pores. 

"Sir?" 

"It's alright, Pea. Once we get to the bottom there will be plenty of light. Just be brave until then."

"Ok . . . Sir Mavis?"

"Yes, Pea."

"Since the witch appeared at the pumpkin harvest, have you been scared?"

"Scared? No, of course not."

It was two weeks ago, during the annual Fall pumpkin harvest celebration that the old hag made herself known. 

She appeared out of their man sized carrot cake, transported inside by her black magic, and leapt out from it's top so her hat was covered in it's icing. She lingered in the hair, just above the grabbing hands and swinging bread knives, kiting the angry mob.

"Calm down! Calm down!" She yelled in her warty voice. "I have a message for you, if you'd just calm down!"

"Then speak it, hag-witch!" Mavis stood upon the table and lobbed a plate of sausages her way. "Or begone from our town!"

"Your king, he is in far away lands fighting, and with him is more than half his forces. This town, which surrounds his castle home, should be most protected, and yet- If the enemy were to attack this instant, you'd be so out numbered, you wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Is this a threat, witch?"

"It is a dire warning, for my sake, I hope you listen! The monster army has split off a band from it's mother horde; I don't know when, or where, but they have nearly completed their march. Here."

The townsfolk ceased their yelling and grabbing at the floating witch, and began to listen. 

"Here?" Mavis put down his axe. "When?"

"You have fourteen days, brave Sir Mavis, copper knight of Kürbisburg. Ready your forces, meager as they may be. For if you fail, all of the valley and forest and mountains here will be turned to monster land. Including my home."

The witch raised her fingers of petrified wood into the air and then pistoned her arms out at Mavis, shooting two intersecting bolts of purple lightning. They struck Mavis but did not knock him over or jolt him, but looked to empower him with some renewed vitality. 

"What is this?" Mavis smiled as his felt his body armor.

"The copper you wear will protect you as if it were the strongest iron made by the greatest blacksmith, and shall not bend nor dent unless the moon itself is thrown at you. Your axe as well."

"Thank you."

"I only wish I could do more. For my sake." The hag clicked her heels, and from the tip of her hat to the bottom of her foot she twisted into a towel being rung out a hundred times, spinning and spinning around herself, until she was so taught that she vanished.

The mood of the celebration was now morose. The people began chattering, and bouts of crying could be heard, as were the sounds of men grabbing their families kicking and screaming and forcing them to leave town. 

Mavis looked upon the crowing confusion and stuck his fingers into his mouth and whistled loud. "The King is not here, yes, and because of this some of you are feeling lost without his guidance. Your confidence is weak without his strong presence. Do not be afraid. We must be strong for our king!"

"But we lack our army!" A man called out. "They're off with the King, fighting a continent way! They'll never be back in time to help us!"

"Then, we fight. I was trained for this, under the hand of Sir Shmavis, the GREATEST knight the pumpkin order has ever seen!"

"Ah, you only say that cause he's your father!" Another man called out.

"Well, that, he is, but, he was still the greatest!" He stepped off the table and began walking amongst the crowd. "We will win this fight! Do not be afraid! For the safety of our kingdom, we shall rout these louts!"

The crowd cheered, and a moment later began to chant. "Rout these louts! Rout these louts!" Mavis chanted with them, and drank long into the night. 

The next day, the training and planning began. Every man and woman in town regardless of their military training were given a weapon and taught the basics of tactical group warfare. Some became strong with lances, others, proficient with the bow, and even others, strong with the axe. In two weeks time Mavis had grown a gaggle of bakers and teachers into a gang of angry pirates, egged on by their unflappable captain. In truth, he was afraid, and unsure, just like the rest of them. 

Every night after seeing the town off, Mavis drank himself to sleep. Ordinarily he was never a heavy drinker. In the mornings during the second week he began to throw up, but it did not deter his training abilities, nor his ability to continue drinking once he got home. His nerves, it was his nerves that killed him, made it impossible to lay down, to read, to do anything but pour more and more brown liquor til it all slips away.

Now, as Mavis and Pea nearly reach the bottom of the ladder, Mavis licks his lips and wishes for one last drop, before the battle.

"Captain?" A voice behind a lantern beckoned from below. "Is that you I see climbing down the ladder?"

"You do, Gerry." Mavis's copper armor glinted dully off the warm light of fire. "And with me is Pea-eater, after all."

"Ol' Pea! You actually brought the Pea-eater?" Gerry groaned in disgust. Once Mavis got all the way he down he picked his friend off the ladder and helped him to the ground. 

"Sir Mavis asked me to come." Pea placed his hands on his hips. "He said I'm of vital importance, and that he's making me a page."

"A what!?" Gerry slapped his own head. "Aaaah, I could never get used to calling you sir."

"Gerry, you should be worried about making it through this fight, not about having to treat Pea with respect."

"I suppose." Gerry turned down the massive carved out tunnel lit by dozens of lanterns. "Follow me this way to the others."

They came down the hallway into an even more impressive dug out with a lantern chandelier hanging from the dirt ceiling. Along the edges were around eighty men, resting or tuning their weapons, and in it's center a catapult's wheel turned on it's side to be used as a table, and a sweaty man at each of it's spokes.

"Sir Mavis." The man had greasy locks of black hair covering his one good eye, the other covered by an eye patch, on the same side as his peg leg.

"General Hobble!" The copper knight clasped the man's hands in his and shook them affectionately. "I hope the humidity hasn't kept you stir crazy. You've been here a whole two days."

"It's nothing, sir. In fact, I would say-"

"Ah don't be modest!" A voice called out from the table. "The good general's been here for three days! One whole more day than the rest of us!"

"Three days?" Mavis looked astonished. "You always manage to surprise me, Hobble."

"What was the extra day for?" Pea-eater's voice crammed into the conversation like a misfit puzzle piece. 

"Erm, excuse me?" Hobble said, almost disgusted. 

"Pea." Mavis scowled. "You mustn't speak to the general so casually, you know that. Go and stand with Gerry by the others."

Pea walked away with his hands in his pockets, but his eyes stayed watching just below the brim of his floppy bag hat.

"I apologize, General." Mavis huffed. "I believe Pea might forget himself during burdenous times."

"It is understandable." The General nodded. "I hope that tenacity translates onto the battlefield, heh heh. Shall we?"

The General returned to the giant table wheel accompanied by Mavis, who greeted the other familiar faces; Red Dave, the greatest bowman in town. Stubbly Sara, the greatest shield maiden. Honest Bob and Liar Rob, the constantly dueling swordsmen always bettering their skills, and Sly Sickly Sam, who just was there. 

Hobble pointed to the center of the table where a map was laid out and held down by a rock on each of it's four corners. "If you take a look at our map, you will see that extra day I spent alone was well worth it. Using my powers of stealth, I was able to sneak nearly right up to the enemy line, and hid behind a rock where I could listen to two monsters talking. They said, they would be attacking, Monday morning, at dawn."

"At dawn!" Mavis snapped his fingers. "But monsters always attack at night."

"They know that, too. Which is why they've decided to attack during the day, when we would least expect it."

"So, we return the favor, and attack them during night, instead!"

"Exactly." His finger landed on the red dot in the middle of the map. "They should move to hide just behind the western hill on the river, and launch from there at dawn, but, if we approach from the south west-"

"Then we'll catch them at their back flank, where they are most vulnerable!" Mavis eagerly pounded the table. 

"Correct, copper knight. I predict our best time to attack should be at dawn, to best encounter them while they're on the move. They say an enemy in retreat is an enemy for the taking."

"No." Mavis rubbed his chin. "We shall go now."

"Now?" Hobble grimaced. "It's the middle of the night, and dark out. What if we attack our own?"

"Attack our own? Even in pitch black I could not mistake a Kürbispfalzian for a slimy, eight foot tall fang beast! Besides, if we strike at dawn, they'll already be on the march, with their weapons drawn and readied. If we attack them now, they'll practically have their pants down."

"Oh, I'm not sure." Hobble shook his head, but Mavis did not care. He turned to the surrounding soldiers lining the walls and raised his arms in the air. "I believe my plan to be the better one. I'm the strategic mind, after all. You're just the fighter."

"What say you, people of Kürbispfalz!?" Mavis climbed a top the table and pointed to his friends and allies. "Shall we attack at dawn, when the fiends are wide awake, or shall we attack tonight, as they rest and stretch their legs?"

The entire people cheered heartily, and stomped their feet, until bits of dirt began to fall from the top of the hollow. 

"Then draw your swords from their scabbards, and follow me!" Mavis climbed down and shook the apprehensive Hobble on the shoulder as he helped him along to begin his march. 

The group of them, only a little less than two hundred strong, continued down the hollowed out earth, stomping and hooting at first, and then as they approached the second trap door, quiet and crouching. It was a wooden door, just like the last, but was padded with dirt and grass from the exterior. Mavis took his thumb and stuck it between a wide space between two of the door's boards and pressed out a bit of the dirt so to look through. 

There were towering, lumbering figures, sitting around campfires along the ground. How many campfires? Five, ten, fifteen, twenty. Maybe more, and with each one at least five or six beasts resting their legs, eating and telling tails. He could not tell of what variety they were, they only appeared as dark blurred masses. With his last moment he had alone with God, he uttered one last prayer.

"Sir." A small hand reached out and took Mavis's.

"Pea-eater." Mavis squeezed the hand back. "You know what it is, don't you?"

"I most certainly do, sir." The boy reached into his pants pocket and produced a green pod of spherical seed-fruit. He pressed one out with his thumb into the palm of his other hand, and held it up to his eye with a grin. "It's time to eat the pea."

"Well then." Mavis stepped aside, his back pressed against the wall with his hand still on the door. "Don't let me slow you down."

With a push of his hand he flung open the secret trap door, and like the legendary trojan horse bands of soldiers rushed out and began to flood the monster encampment. 

As they started their rush, Mavis saddled upon Pea-eater as if he were a horse, then the boy took the seed-fruit and placed it between his back molars. He chomped the pea as hard as he could, shooting the earthy juices down his throat, followed by the slimy empty skin they came from. 

Within moments Pea-eater's flesh began to change color, first yellowish, then orange, then green, and finally a warm tomato red. It became coarse and stubborn, like that of a mighty rhinoceros, and grew to three times it's size. His shape was that of a cannon ball, perfectly round and incredibly dense, growing, and growing, until Mavis rode upon a boulder, greater than any he'd seen, as Pea-eater's clothes stretched to fit his new enormous size. Pea wiggled his legs, which were almost entirely engulfed by his mass, and despite being the size of a small house, moved with the weightlessness of a egg in water. Mavis, gripping the straps of Pea's over-alls like the reigns of a wild horse, lunged forward on his mount to direct the boy's movements, and like a good stead he followed his master's directions.

Within seconds they caught up with their friends already hacking and slashing at the gibbering ghouls and yowling imps, caught in a maelstrom of confusion and death. Their bones and muscles could be seen through unhealed gashes in their flesh, and their eyes were yellow and brown with no iris or pupil. Their breath smelled of carpeted rot, and screams were feral and chimp-like.

The human soldiers drove their blades into the wide, goblinious skulls of their enemy, and then steered out of the way of the giant bouncing tomato, but the monsters now rattled by the attack honed in on it, raising their forks and rusted wilah blades into the air, so as Pea descended upon them they would stab and pop him, but as their points met with Pea-eater's flesh bent in on themselves into a spiral, followed by the monsters crushed under the weight of Pea's body. 

Mavis and Pea hopped from campfire to campfire, smashing the enemies underneath, surrounding in a ring of protection by the soldiers, catching the monsters missed by the bouncing Pea, and fending off those bum rushing in. "Huzzah!" The Kürbispfalzians called out, and then again. The battle began in the favor of the humans, and it seemed at first as it all would be simple.

"What's that!" A pointed into the sky. A flock of birds, two feet long, flew in clusters of five or six and began to circle the encampment. They honed in on Pea and the soldiers and began to dive bomb, firing off pellets of feces before turning back up towards the sky. A dab of guano landed atop an axeman's helmet, splattering across his head in an undignified manner. A moment later, the splatter turned grey, and rocky, then spread across the metal until the entirety of the helmet was made of cold, sedimentary rock.

"Those aren't just birds!" Mavis called out. "They're Medusa birds!"

"My helmet!" The axeman called out, dropping his weapon amongst the chaos and grabbing at his head. "It's so heavy! It hurts, I have to get it off!"

"No!" Mavis called out, steering Pea in the man's direction. The man got the helmet off, dropping it to the ground where it was so heavy it splattered in the mud. He looked at it with brief satisfaction, that became indefinite. Another splatter of guano bombed against his left cheek, quickly spreading through his face, then entire body, turning him to stone and capturing his expression forever.

The bands of Kürbispfalzians became frightened and slowed their attack, instead crouching and guarding themself.

"What do we do, sir!?" A voice called out. Mavis, thinking quickly, pulled on Pea's reigns to stop him from moving. Then, stood on top of him like a balancing act, and began to wave his arms in the direction of the attacking Medusa birds, gaining their attention. Their eyes focused on Mavis and they swerved in the air, coming straight towards him. 

"Ready . . . Ready." Mavis hummed, eyeing the birds as they dove closer and closer. "Ready . . . Now!" 

Pea flapped his arms and stretched his legs, bouncing himself into the air. The velocity at which he rose and the speed in which he fell was unwieldly and intense, and Mavis despite trying his best to hold on lost posture at the apex of the jump, slipped off the side of Pea's enormous head and began plummeting twenty feet towards the earth.

The Medusa birds, though, were now just underneath Pea's body. They had timed it perfectly, and as the birds swooped down and dropped mass bombings of bird shit onto where Pea and Mavis had just been, they now became trapped under the gravity of Pea's falling body back towards the earth, and smashed in between the ground and the seat of his pants. Almost the entire flocked had been trapped and smashed this way, and the few birds who had avoided Pea's attack were now too shaken to continue fighting and flew East back towards their home.

"Huzzah!" The men called out, and Pea faced with him a tiny raised fist sticking out from his bloated mass, but then something was not right. Pea, if he could talk in his giant form, would have been shouting for his friend Mavis, who was no longer on his back. The crowd of soldiers parted and there was Mavis laying on the ground, grabbing at his ankle. 

"I think it's broken." Mavis grit his teeth and trembled with pain. "Don't worry about me. Keep fighting."

(cont'd in next post)

Just posting cause Im too excited! its going to be an hour long and so far everyone says its really good! cant wait to publish it in two days :)

This is my first ever short story completed and edited into a video with art and music! This is only the first of many, but I'm still pretty proud of it. That being said I really want to do better next time so any feedback is appreciated!